deep night

do you think i can’t see you?

looking at me through that window?

i watch you every night, because you come at the same time every night. are you routine oriented, like me? would you be lost without it, like me? you always come at 1:55. it should be called the morning, but i think we both know it doesn't feel like the morning. it doesn't feel like night either. no. it's that deep kind of night that brings you here. i truly think it's the night, but when i see you, is it wrong to think that you come just to see me?

do you think i can’t see your body pass by the front window? your hulking mass crossing over my front yard. i hear your feet crunch on the gravel outside and i wonder if you have some kind of protection, or do you walk across it barefoot? does it hurt your feet, like it hurts mine?

i lay awake and wait for that moment, the moment the moon and the city lights shining off the smog filled clouds, is obstructed by your head. i hear your skin scrape between my truck and the wall of my house as you slip into the yard.

i hear it and my heart slows.

you come over to the side window, the window that was built a hundred years ago for you. it’s the perfect height, isn’t it? when you stand against it, your entire head is visible in that window. and i know we're the same height because in the morning, i stand there too, looking out into the yard you were in just a few hours before. is it wrong that i long for you? that i want to fall back asleep and wake up right at 1:50. five minutes before you come so i can feel the excitement i feel just before you come visit me. so i can feel that calm. is it wrong that it's all i think about during the day?

about your bioluminescent eyes that look in on me, they bring light into my room, a light that the moon cannot. it’s warm. it’s soothing.

i often wonder, laying here basking in you, what would happen if i went through the front door and came over to you?

would i find you, naked like i am, standing in the deep night?

i often wonder

what would happen if i touched you?

would we merge into one?